Pierrot- Peeve of Our Policy

Pierrot's a specialist, but he gets plenty of work.

If you really want to piss me off, try to screw me over, and when I call you on it, tell me "that's our policy". Them's fightin' words.

Ever have some moron do this to you? You call 'em up on the phone, and you say something like "I ordered all 1000 electric cheese graters from you, and you sent me frying pans", and they say "You'll have to hand-carry them to our office in Antarctica", and you say "I don't think so", and they say "I'm sorry, sir, but that's our policy".

The amazing part about the whole thing is that these cretins actually think you care what their policy is. You get the feeling that they'd expect you to jump off the Golden Gate bridge if that was their policy...

You: I want to cancel my subscription
Them: All right. All you have to do is to fill out this form, paint your face green, and cut off your daughter's right hand with this axe.
You: What???
Them: It's just a formality to show you're serious
You: Isn't there another way?
Them (eyes glowing with strange hypnotic power): I'm sorry, but That's Our Policy.
You: OK, but I want blue eye shadow.

I'm tempted to kill these people outright, but I never do. I figure they might be useful to humanity someday. I doubt they're similar enough to human beings for cancer tests, but maybe we could occupy their home planet. All we'd have to do would be to say it was our policy.