Fernando- Peeve of Self-Righteous Assholes

Fernando is in charge of all those fucking jerks who, despite the fact that they are fucking jerks, and despite the fact that they're often complete losers, and despite the fact that they don't seem particularly smart, and despite the fact that they don't seem particularly happy, and despite the fact that they have absolutely no fucking claim on the Truth, the Right, or the Favor of God other than the strength of their lungs and the Courage of their Convictions, seem bent on running life for the rest of us.

Right now, Fernando is on a special assignment...

<badinsultingstereotypicalsouthernaccent>
'Cuz le'me tell you right now, folks. I'm a genu-wine, certified pre-vert. One o' my pre-versions is that-there (GASP!); Cyber-porn. Tha's right, I likes ta look at nekkid pictures. An' fuckin'. An' suckin'. An I likes ta get it on with that lil' bianca filly.

It ain't just that, neither. I likes ta see tiein'-up. An' whuppin'. An' deevee-ate sex-you-al innercourse with hunnerds of 'em, jes' hunnerds, all a-humpin' an' a-writhin' an a-doin' thangs you know they aint seen in no bible! Why, I mean, jus' the other day I saw this here picture with these two girls an' this goat, an'...
</badinsultingstereotypicalsouthernaccent>

But I digress. What I'm trying to get at here is that I, a reasonably upstanding, productive member of society, am into this stuff. It hasn't made me into a raving maniac. I've never raped anybody. I've never beaten anybody up. Fact is, I'm pretty damned respectful of people's rights, thank you very much. I don't lie (about anything substantive, anyway), cheat, or steal. I'm as decent as the next guy, and a helluva lot more decent than many. Other than the occasional child-murder*, I stay on the right side of the law.

So Fernando gets pretty active when people want to ban my little recreations... or regulate them out of existence to protect "Our Children". I've heard all the arguments. They're crap. You didn't come here to see my rebuttals, so all I can say is that Fernando's on the rampage.

* That's a joke, dimwit.